Jean Marie Bauhaus

Three vampires walk into a bar…

A suicidal widower is talked down by a mysterious, chain-smoking stranger with an ulterior motive…

A picturesque sea-side chalet harbors a disturbing secret under its serene waters…

A kindly grandmother runs a pie shop that is a gateway to time and space…

A mysterious house with a dark reputation tempts one bored little girl…

Angels, vampires, ghosts and faeries mingle with the lovelorn, the desperate, the weary and the brave in this collection of quick-fire stories from Restless Spirits author Jean Marie Bauhaus.

Available for the Kindle, Nook and other devices for only 99 cents!

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Smashwords

Ghost hunter Veronica “Ron” Wilson gets killed in the line of duty; but after she herself becomes a ghost, trapped in the house where she died, she realizes that the mystery has just begun. She and several other ghosts are being held prisoner in the house by the same sadistic spirit that killed them. Their captor likes to entertain itself by torturing its fellow ghosts, and as if that isn’t bad enough, it appears to have the ability to kill ghosts, devouring the poor souls for whom it no longer has any use. Ron’s only hope is to convince the other terrified ghosts to rally together to find a way to defeat the evil spirit so they can move on to their final rest. But Ron’s not in any hurry to get there once she discovers that there’s still a lot of living to do after death.

Available as an e-book and trade paperback.

Amazon
Barnes & Nobel
Smashwords
Trade Paperback (CreateSpace)

Two more excellent questions from reader and commenter Michelle (a.k.a., The Barenaked Critic):

http://blog.jeanmariebauhaus.com/What makes [self-publishing] so fulfilling for you, personally? Would you ever want to go the traditional route with a future book?

The answer to the first question has bearing on the answer to the second, so let’s start there. In my post about the pros and cons of self-publishing, I talked about how my personality and skill-set are both well-suited to self  publishing, and how my almost pathological fear and hatred of the traditional publishing submission process (in particular, writing query and cover letters) helped to drive me into the welcoming arms of indie publishing. Just the fact of getting to have my work read without having to put myself through that whole rigmarole is pretty fulfilling in and of itself. But that’s not a complete answer.

The whole truth is that I come from a fan-fiction background that completely spoiled me. I became addicted to the instant feedback nature of fanfic. I jokingly referred to myself as a praise-whore, but that’s exactly what I was. Having people read stories written by me and then tell me how touched or moved they were by it was a cause for pure elation. When I decided to hang up my fanficcer hat and concentrate on writing original fiction, the single most difficult challenge I had to overcome was getting used to the solitary nature of it, of playing everything close to the vest and not getting to know what anybody thinks of your work until it’s finished, and not getting to know what strangers think until it’s published; and at the time, when commercial publishing was still the only really viable way to go, whether or not strangers would ever be able to read my work was pretty much out of my hands.

I tried to get around this and get my instant-feedback fix without technically self-pubbing by serializing my novels in locked Livejournal posts, but it just wasn’t the same. The rise of e-book and POD technology and the growing mainstream acceptance of indie publishing changed all of that. Of course, I still have to exercise discipline and not just blog every chapter hoping for instant feedback as I go; I still have to deal with the isolation of the writing and editing phase, which, I will tell you, is HARD. But no longer is it up to agents and editors in New York whether people outside of my friends and family will have the opportunity to read my stories and tell me what they think. My stories are out there, being read and enjoyed, and whenever a new review pops up, or somebody e-mails me or contacts me through my blog or Facebook to tell me how much they enjoyed my book, it’s back to pure elation. The giddy feeling that I get when just one person tells me that they loved my book makes it all worth it, even if my royalty earnings never add up to more than the occasional pizza allowance.

As for whether I would ever go the traditional route, the short answer is, sure. I think there’s plenty of room for both, and a lot of writers are getting more savvy about combining the two, using indie publishing to build a platform that will make them more attractive to traditional agents and editors. This path is proving successful for more and more people.

My goal is not to attain the “prestige” of getting published “for real” by a traditional big time publisher. My goal, ultimately, is to get my books in front of as many eyeballs belonging to the types of people who enjoy the types of books that I write as possible. If there is ever a point where traditional publishing is the best way for me to do that, then I will absolutely pursue that route. If somehow, by the grace of God, I achieve Hocking-like success and have agents and editors approaching me with a giant book deal? Uh, yeah, I’mma certainly consider it. But even then, I think it will depend on a lot of factors, including what the traditional publishing market looks like at the time, and whether it makes the best business sense to give up some of the rights to my own work.

But all of that is down the road a ways, if it’s on my road at all. For now, I’m still a beginner at this, and my focus is on just turning out the best books that I can as fast as I can and building up my catalog. I’ve set a five-year goal for myself, which I’ll expand upon in a later post, to be earning enough from writing and indie pubbing in 5 years to be able to retire my web design business and write and publish full time. So if I’m not there in five years, or anywhere close to it, I’ll re-evaluate this path that I’ve chosen as well as the state of the publishing industry as a whole, and go from there. But for now and the foreseeable future, I only have plans to self-publish.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

In my previous post about getting over the stigma of self-publishing, commenter Michelle (a.k.a. The Barenaked Critic) asked me several good questions, one of which was to elucidate on the pros and cons of self-publishing. I think I pretty well covered the pros in my previous post: you avoid the sometimes years-long process of trying to get through the gatekeepers of traditional publishing, which often ends in rejection, often for perfectly good books that simply aren’t seen as marketable by those in charge; depending on the channels you choose to sell your book and what kind of fees they charge for the service, you get to keep anywhere from 75 to 100 percent of the royalties instead of having to give ten to 20 percent each to your agent and publisher; you never have to worry about earning out your advance, having your books remaindered, or seeing them disappear from the shelves after your publisher’s print run has run its course and they’ve moved on to other things; you have the satisfaction of having your work out there, being read and enjoyed and slowly but steadily building up your fan base; and last but absolutely not least, you have total control over your writing career.

Lest all of that sound too good to be true, there is a down side which prevents it from being right for everybody. Self-publishing takes a lot of work. You either have to learn how to be your own story editor, line editor, print formatter, cover designer and marketing and publicity agent, or you have to come up with the money to pay for those services out of your own pocket. I think self-publishing is such a good fit for me personally in no small part because I already brought to the table training and experience as both a copy editor and a graphic designer, and also a strong rapport with some trusted beta readers who are excellent at catching mistakes that I miss. To be honest, if I wasn’t confident in my own editing abilities, or in my ability to produce a professional-looking, eye-catching book cover, I probably wouldn’t have chosen this path, because there’s just no room in our budget currently for hiring out those tasks.

Another thing I bring to the table is writing experience. Restless Spirits is the first novel I published, but it is FAR from being the first novel I’ve written. Between finished trunk novels, half-finished attempts at novels, short stories, and several volumes of novel-length fan fiction, I more than put in my 10,000 hours before I reached a point where I thought my writing could stand up the kind of scrutiny under which my decision to self publish would place it. I’m not some starry-eyed young ingenue who thinks every word she puts on the page is the equivalent of candied rainbow unicorn toots and that the world just needs to wake up and smell her brilliance. I was 38 when I published my first book, and tired of and deeply discouraged by the current sorry state of traditional publishing.

I should make another confession here: I have made attempts to publish via the traditional route, but honestly, not that many. I’m impatient, I have a pathological fear of having to write cover and query letters, and I’m so prone to procrastination when it comes to submitting my work that usually I move onto another project before I ever get around to it and then it never gets done. Which is not to say that it has never gotten done — I have a nice, thick binder full of rejection letters that run the gamut from polite form letters to encouraging hand-written notes. I just hate the submission process and I, personally, would rather put in a hundred hours on editing and formatting and marketing my own work than sit down for two hours to try to craft a decent query letter and then drive myself completely insane while I wait several months for a response. In short, it should be noted that my personality is simply better suited to self-publishing.

But back on point; probably the biggest con to self-publishing, the one I see cited most often by successful traditionally published authors such as John Scalzi as the main reason why they don’t jump ship and go the indie route so they can rake in more money, is that you are completely on your own when it comes to marketing and publicity. There is no big publisher publicity machine to back you up. Although, from what I’ve read from midlist authors, these days the publicity machine is really only there for the established bestsellers, and even then, traditionally published authors are being expected to put in more and more time and work to market their own books. Just as the size of the typical new author advance has greatly diminished over the last few years, so has the amount of support a newly published author can expect from their publisher on the marketing front.

But make no mistake. Marketing your own books takes a lot of work, and it’s something you have to stay on top of if you want it to keep selling, especially in the early stages when you don’t yet have a fan-base who can be counted on to buy your next book.

Self-publishing takes a lot of self-discipline, and it also takes a lot of patience. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and the focus is on long-tail success, which might take years to achieve. It’s definitely not a path that’s suitable to everybody. But if you think it might be the right path for you, then I suggest the following blogs, which are practically required reading for anyone who’s even considering becoming self-published:

• J.A. Konrath’s A Newbie’s Guide to Self-Publishing
• Dean Wesley Smith’s blog
• Kristine Kathryn Rusch
• The Passive Voice

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I FINALLY read this book (seriously, y’all, sometimes I almost want to quit writing just so I’ll have more time in my life for reading, which is not easy to come by as it is). It was an enjoyable read, as always, with lots of tugging at the heart strings and wanting to give Harry a big ol’ hug. The ending was pretty much exactly what I expected, although I kept wondering throughout the book how it was going to end up there, and although unsurprising it definitely set up some interesting dynamics for the continuation of the series. I don’t really have anything to add by way of review, just some fan-girl babble that I will place behind a cut because it is somewhat spoilery and also, fan-girl babble.

Mouse, you guys! I was worried about him through the whole book, and when he finally showed up toward the end I lost it. That was the only part that brought me to full-on tears. It was exactly like on LOST when Michael and the others came back with the Tailies and Vincent was all “O HAI YOU’RE MY FAMILY AND I LOVE YOU AND I MISSED YOU AND I LOVE YOU DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!” and I was all “Doggie missed his daddy waaaah!!!” Except this was even worse, because Mouse is intelligent and understands everything that’s going on and he had all of his big doggie emotions mixed up with his supernatural sense of duty and he understood that Harry wasn’t ever (as far as he knew) coming back and he had Harry’s daughter to protect and oh my goodness it’s like the toys and Andy saying goodbye in Toy Story 3 and I’m crying again right now, you guys. I just can’t take this emotional dog stuff. Or toy stuff, apparently. Phew.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

Thanks to everyone who offered feedback on the potential cover concepts for Dominion of the Damned. The general consensus was overwhelmingly in favor of the third concept, featuring a girl with a gun standing on a desolate highway, the feedback on which ranged from “least cheesy” to “awesome.” Of course, for practical and budgetary reasons I was hoping the majority would favor the second concept, which wouldn’t cost me anything to produce. But both aesthetically and conceptually I’m in agreement with the readers—I think the cover representing my protagonist is the strongest.

Now the next step is to purchase a high-res copy of the photo, which will have to wait until my next payday, and then refine the concept into something that is hopefully totally awesome and not at all cheesy—although, when you’re talking about a cover to a novel about vampires subjugating the human race in the wake of a zombie apocalypse, I have a feeling that a certain segment of the population is going to find a certain amount of cheese no matter what. And I admit that my vision of zombie hands reaching toward the girl from out of frame probably won’t do anything to decrease the cheese factor. Although that would probably be stretching beyond the limit of my Photoshop skills, so that version of the cover very well may not happen.

Feedback is also starting to come back in on the book itself, and if the consensus agrees with the first beta reader, I’m going to have a fair amount of rewriting to do before it’s ready for prime time. So, allowing for uncertainty and the fact that I ALWAYS underestimate how long stuff like this will take me to get done, we’re probably looking at a June release. Which is fine, as that gives me time not only to make the cover as awesome as I can make it, but also to get new author portraits made. Not that the old ones aren’t perfectly lovely, compositionally speaking, thanks to the EXTREME talents of my baby sister, but they were taken at an incredibly sucky time in my life, and also in the life of my hair. So a new portrait is definitely in order.

My agenda for today also includes drafting a marketing plan for the book, which I’ll share here once I get it nailed down. I didn’t have any kind of plan or do any pre-marketing for Restless Spirits, so it should be an interesting case study to see if any of that makes a difference for Dominion.

But first thing’s first, and that’s perfecting the cover. I’m sure I’ll be hitting you guys up for more feedback once I get it closer to the final version.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

Over the last few years there’s been an explosion in self-publishing, with the advent of not just the e-reader, but accessible technology that makes publishing an e-book easy, low- or no-cost, and potentially very lucrative. And it’s not just e-books, either. Gone are the days of vanity presses where an author who couldn’t get published the traditional way would have no other option but to pay thousands of dollars to buy a print run of their book and then be on their own for selling all of those copies boxed up out in the garage. Print-on-demand web sites like CreateSpace and Lulu have made print publishing as accessible as e-publishing.

And yet, perhaps because it is so accessible that literally anyone can do it, and despite the fact that more and more professional, traditionally published authors are turning to self-publishing as a means of taking charge of their careers, there’s still a sense of snobbery toward self-publishing that prevents a lot of aspiring authors from going that route. It’s this idea that being self-published isn’t really being published; it doesn’t really count without the blessing of an agent and a major New York publisher. And there’s this pervasive fear that self-publishing will be seen as “giving up” and you’ll be looked down on by your peers and by the writing and publishing industry as a whole, and you’ll give up your chances for good of being traditionally published. That fear pervades even as one self-published author after another is making headlines by getting major book deals from the major publishing companies because of their self-published books.

I know because I had to get over this fear and sense of snobbery myself, and I still see it all the time among my aspiring author friends. I would look at self-published authors who were doing well and think, “That’s great for them, but I won’t feel like a real author if I don’t get traditionally published.” Obviously, I’ve gotten past this line of thinking. So what changed?

For one thing, I watched my fellow indie author David Michael, who I know locally from NaNoWriMo meet-ups, as he began and grew his self-publishing career. His books looked professional, he was getting excellent reviews and making money, nobody appeared to be looking down on him for being self-published, and most importantly, he seemed like he was having a blast. I saw him transform from a wannabe author like me into a professional career novelist, and it was awesome.

That inspired me to give self-publishing a little more consideration, and I started doing the math. I could go the traditional route with my newest novel and send out agent queries. If I was lucky, I would hear back from one or two agents in three to six months who asked to read my novel. If I was really lucky, I’d hear back another six months after that from one of them wanting to represent my book. And if I was exceptionally blessed, I would hear back in another six months to a year that they’ve found a publisher for my book who wanted to pay me a $5,000 advance (yes, that’s the average size of advances for new authors these days; the giant, six- or seven-figure advances you hear about in the news make headlines because they’re so rare that it makes them newsworthy when they happen). And then I just have to sit back and wait another two years or so for the official release date!

But as an aside, let’s say you’re one of the very, very lucky ones who scores a $100,000 advance. Divide that over the year (or several) that you spent writing and polishing the book, the additional year or two (or three) that it took to find an agent and a publisher, and the additional two years it takes the publisher to actually publish the book… and congratulations! You’ve now made the equivalent salary of an underpaid schoolteacher.

So I could go that route, or I could try this self-publishing thing. I could cut out the middle-man and take my stories directly to the readers—something musicians and other types of artists and creatives are expected to do, with no stigma attached—and I could have them out there, getting read and building a fan-base and making money. Not a lot of money, especially in the beginning, but percentage-wise, a lot more than I’d be making per book than if I had an agent and publisher both taking their cuts. And I would only need to sell about 2,300 books at $2.99 to make the equivalent of that $5,000 beginner’s advance. And I wouldn’t have to worry about having a limited print run and a short window of time to sell enough books to earn out that advance before they all got remaindered and taken off of the shelves, because virtual store shelves never run out of space and virtually published books never go out of print.

Taking all of that into consideration, it seemed like kind of a no-brainer, and yet I was still hesitant. What gave me the final push was an epiphany I had one day when I was looking at a paperback that my husband had just gotten from Amazon. I was looking to see who had published it, and I realized that it was a self-published POD book from Xlibris. This wasn’t obvious at first glance, and I was impressed with the quality of the book. I asked my husband if he realized the book was self-published, and he said that he hadn’t realized it—nor did he care. That knowledge made absolutely no difference whatsoever to his desire to read that book, and it wouldn’t have made any difference in his decision to buy it.

That’s when I realized that the self-publishing stigma is limited mainly to aspiring writers and to those whose livelihoods are threatened by the rise of self-published books—and even among that latter group, the stigma is waning as they begin to mine self-published authors for talent in order to stay afloat. Among the vast majority of the reading and book-buying public—the people who turn books into best-sellers—the stigma doesn’t exist. They simply don’t care where a book comes from, as long as it’s a good read. Oh, sure, there are the literary snobs who turn their noses up at self-published books, but these are generally the same people who also turn their noses up at genre and commercial fiction, and they are in the vast minority. The average citizen reader couldn’t give a rat’s poop whether the book they hold in their hands came from Simon and Schuster or from CreateSpace.

And that is when I realized that the stigma shouldn’t exist for me, either, and I decided to become a self-published author; and in terms of personal gratification and career satisfaction, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

This time for Dominion. I have an opinion, but I’m going to keep it to myself for the time being.

First, the cover I originally mocked up waaay back in 2009 for NaNoWriMo (which isn’t really up for consideration–it’s just so you can see where I started from):

And now a more stylized and abstract version of the same theme:

And finally,  one that puts the focus on my main protagonist:

Which one entices you the most, dear readers?

Also, thanks for all the feedback on the new Restless Spirits cover. Since opinion was divided pretty evenly over the light vs. dark versions, I went ahead and used both — the dark on the paperback and BN.com, and the light on Amazon and Smashwords. I’ll see which, if any, has the greatest impact on sales, and then go with that one across the board. That’s the beauty of e-publishing–nothing is set in stone.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

Okay, I tweaked the new cover a bit more, and I need help deciding which I like best: the daytime version or the nighttime one?

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I was recently asked how to make an e-book available on Amazon. The short answer, I said, was to go to Kindle Direct Publishing and go from there… and then I promised to write a post explaining the long answer. So here’s that post.

The first step… well, the first step is to write your book. But we’ll assume that part’s already done. So the first step toward publishing it as an e-book is proper formatting. For this, I follow the Smashwords Style Guide. It’s free, and although it’s specifically written for getting your document ready to run through their file conversion software, their guidelines also work nicely for prepping your work for conversion to the Kindle’s proprietary Mobi file format. One caveat is that it has to be a Word doc. But although this guide put’s a lot of emphasis on formatting your manuscript in Word, I used Open Office Write to format Restless Spirits and saved it as a Word doc, and that worked just fine.

Once your book is formatted, it’s ready to upload to Smashwords. This part is simple—just fill out the publication info, upload your Word doc and submit. Smashwords’ “meatgrinder” program will then do its magic and convert it into every e-book file type that there is, and automatically make it available in their store. I recommend doing this step because a) it’s free, b) it’s really simple, c) it helps your work reach a wider audience than just Amazon (Smashwords will also distribute your book to BN.com and the iTunes store), and d) you can then take advantage of Smashwords’ coupon generator to give away free promotional copies, run promotional discounts, participate in site-wide sales, etc. Really, there’s no good reason not to upload your work to Smashwords.

But to get your book on Amazon takes a few extra steps, which you can find outlined in detail in the Kindle Publishing Guide. When I published Restless Spirits last summer, I had to save my document as an HTML file and then use a free program called Mobipocket Creator to convert it to a .mobi file, and then it was ready to upload to my KDP account. But it looks like things might have changed a bit since then, so follow the guide to be sure. The first step to Kindle publishing, though, is to create your own account at Kindle Direct Publishing, click “Add New Title,” and go from there.

There’s one more marketplace you can upload your book for free, and that’s through Barnes & Noble’s PubIt web site. Of course, you can just wait and let Smashwords submit your book to BN.com, but doing it yourself through PubIt is faster, and it makes it easier to track your BN.com sales. It’s also super-easy—just fill out the information on your book and upload your Word doc, and you’re done.

A couple of things to remember before you go forth and publish: first, each marketplace has different speeds at which your book actually becomes available in their store. Smashwords tends to be fastest, taking only minutes, whereas Amazon’s vetting process typically takes two or three days before they approve your book for sale on their site.

The other thing is a word on ISBNs. Each site will assign its own ISBN (or in Amazon’s case, an ASIN) to your book at no charge. You only really need to consider purchasing your own ISBN if you want to publish the book under your own publishing imprint or, in the case of paperbacks (which are a whole ‘nother post), you want to be able to distribute it to brick and mortar book stores and libraries. For new authors especially, my advice is to take the free ISBNs; that way, unless you spend money on professional services like cover design or editing, you end up making pure profit. And you can always go back later and reprint the book under your own ISBN if the need arises.

So that’s how you publish an e-book. Any questions?

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I’m thinking of trying out a new cover to see if it has any impact on my sales. Whatcha think?

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

No, not to be the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill blah blah blah. Although that would be nifty. But it seems that we’ve been selected to become a Nielsen household.

You guys. Seriously? Why–and I ask again, WHY?!–could this not have happened a decade ago? You know, back when I was obsessed with TV? And my obsessions usually ran toward obscure SF-nal shows that were always in danger of cancellation, or simply doomed from the beginning? Why does it have to happen now, when I can take or leave most of what’s on the air and every now and then I actually seriously pondering giving up television entirely? When we don’t even have cable and most of what we watch is online, and only really use the TV to watch local programming or DVDs? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU MATTERED TO MY LIFE, NIELSEN COMPANY?

Sigh.

So, we’re debating whether to do it. And if we do, we probably won’t admit it, because we don’t want to be getting obsessive e-mails from fans of bubble shows pleading with us to watch it. Although, I’m sure we could find a way to exploit that sort of thing, if we were all exploitative and stuff, but we’re not, really, so never mind. Nevertheless, it seems to require a time commitment that neither of us are really able to make. And neither of us are keen on having their tracking software hooked up to our PCs. Not that we have anything to hide, it just seems a little creepy. And if we have to fill out weekly diaries instead… like I said, who has time for that?

I was surprised to find the packet on our door informing us that we’ve been selected. They sent us a survey a few months ago, but we never got around to filling it out, and so assumed that we’d missed our chance. We still have to call the number on the card to find out exactly what’s involved and what would be required of us. Of course, phone-o-phobes that we both are, we’re debating whether even that much is worth our while. But I think we should probably call and have all the facts before we make our decision.

I just can’t get over how much this would have been a dream come true if it had happened when Joss Whedon was still doing TV.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

It’s been a while since I’ve done an update here on how Dominion of the Damned is coming along. I’m still in the first revision stage, but so far it’s going smoothly and I’m starting to gain some momentum. I’m more than halfway through the second draft, and if I can keep devoting a couple of hours a day to it I should have a completed second draft ready for beta readers in just a couple more weeks. And then I have to find beta readers.

The best part is that I’m still really happy with it. I was a little nervous approaching my first read-through after taking almost two months off from finishing the manuscript, but so far I’m loving it, if I do say so myself. I still think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, and I’m so excited about getting it polished and out there for you guys to read.

Once it’s released to the betas, I’ll revisit the book  cover design and come up with a final version, and get to work publicizing the release date. Then when I get it back from all of the beta readers I’ll do one more pass, editing and formatting as I go. And then it will be ready for release. This time around I plan to do some advance giveaways to help generate buzz. I haven’t worked out all of the logistics of that yet, though. Right now my focus is on simply getting through the second draft. Which, again, is coming along swimmingly.

And here’s hoping I didn’t just jinx it all to heck. ;p

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

The TV season’s halfway over — okay, more than half. I’m a little behind on this — and that means it’s time to see which shows from my start-of-season roundup I’m still watching, which I’ve pulled the plug on, and which mid-season shows have made the lineup.

First, the breakups:

Survivor/The Amazing Race/America’s Next Top Model/The X-Factor

I never thought the day would come, but… reality competition shows just aren’t doing anything for me anymore. I know, right? I can’t believe it, either. But I just COULD NOT do another season with anybody from the Hantz family, or with Coach, or with “I used to be awesome but now I’m a whiny douche” Ozzy, for that matter, and I found myself paying less and less attention. And TAR, while not really irritating me the way Survivor did, just wasn’t holding my attention. The X-Factor also started to feel like a chore to sit through after the first few eliminations. The only reality show I watched all the way to the end of the season was ANTM, and then there was that hinky business with Angelea, and I just don’t have the energy for any more of Tyra’s shenanigans. I’m done.

Glee

I had already reached the point where I was just in it for the singing. I almost dumped it for good after that cracked-out Christmas episode, but then a preview of the Michael Jackson ep pulled me back in; but by the time the Valentine’s Day ep got here I wasn’t even enjoying the singing anymore, certainly not enough to endure Very Special Episode sermons about how my religion should feel about certain issues from Ryan Murphy. I couldn’t even get excited about finally seeing Rachel’s dads even though it was some of the best casting ever. I just didn’t care. Goodbye, Glee.

The New Girl

I only made it four episodes, none of which lived up to the hilarious pilot, before going back to my No Half-hour Comedies rule. Life is too short. Sorry, Zooey Deschanel. I still think you’re adorable.

Chuck 

I didn’t break up with Chuck, it broke up with all of us, and broke my heart a little in the process. I will always love you, Chuck.

The New Shows:

Once Upon a Time 

Technically not a midseason replacement, but it got a late enough start to not be included in my original round-up. Actually, I didn’t even know about it yet when I wrote my last TV post. But I’m glad I found out, because it’s my favorite new show by far. It’s a fairy-tale soap opera wrapped up in a Lost-style mystery, with a villain who is completely unapologetic and evil (with Jane Espenson’s involvement I suspect it’s no coincidence that the best TV Big Bad since Mayor Wilkins is… another Mayor! Shout-out!), and another villain who seems to possibly be poised for a redemption arc, and you know how I am about those. It’s not my favorite favorite show (yet), but it’s got all of the ingredients for getting there.

Sherlock

Matt and I actually watch this one together. The extremely short seasons are hella frustrating, but my word, is this show good. I always said that Doctor Who had a lot of Sherlock in him and now Sherlock’s got a lot of The Doctor in him. It’s smart, witty, sexy, and a pure fangirl delight. Do not miss this show.

Smash

This is filling the void in the Broadway geek part of my soul quite nicely. It has a great cast, the writing is good, and the musical numbers are making me want them to produce Marilyn the Musical in the real world. And I didn’t start watching AI until David Cook’s season, so I’m not a big fan of Kathryn McPhee (not to say that I don’t like her… I’m just not a big fan), so I keep rooting for Ivy.  Who is played by Megan Hilty who is an actual Broadway star and was a Galinda, so how could I not? She’s pretty awesome. You should look up her “Popular” performance on Youtube sometime. Also, Jack Davenport: Rawr.

The River

Paranormal Activity in the Amazon. The execution isn’t perfect, but it has its moments. Besides, it’s only 7 episodes long, so it’s not a huge commitment.

Alcatraz

This is a solid show. I’m not all a-flutter over it yet, but it has a good cast, good writing, and enough intrigue to keep me coming back for more. And this is pretty much exactly how I felt about Fringe during its first season, so yeah, you can bet I’m going to give it plenty of time to find its crazy legs and become another Bad Robot masterpiece.

Speaking of…

Still watching:

Fringe

Oh, Peter.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that, other than that this is still my favorite US-produced show currently on television.

Doctor Who

… and I’m incredibly frustrated that it’s on hiatus until OCTOBER! Why are they torturing us? Why?

Supernatural

Although, the urgency is gone, and I’m several episodes behind. First Cas, then Bobbie, and I love my boys, but I also loved their family that they had built around them, and now they’re all gone. I can’t say I agree with the decision to keep going another season. But I just can’t quit them, either.

But dang it, I really miss Cas.

Castle

This show is as entertaining as ever, and I loves me some Fillion, but seriously, show: you cannot drag this will they/won’t they schtick out another season. Get them together already, or don’t, and make it stick. Sheesh.

Ringer

I’m still loving watching Buffy and Evil Buffy. And I’m impressed that this show has so much that could make it into pure camp, but it never crosses that line. It’s a good show, as nighttime soaps go, and SMG is as delightful as ever. Also, this rule is proven to still be true: if Buffy cries, I cry.

So that’s what I’m watching these days. What shows are you watching?

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

So I’ve had a Tumblr blog for a while now, but I’ve finally started using it for real in order to play along with Unf*** Your Habitat, a surprisingly effective motivational Tumblr for getting off your hinder and making your house look like a gorram grownup lives there for a change.

I’ve only been doing this for two days, and already I’ve conquered the hard water deposits in my toilet bowl (earning an animated Cheering!Buffy from UFYH in the process, squee!), cleaned and organized my bathroom shelves, fixed up Matilda’s habitat, made time for novel editing, and made my bed and scooped out the cat boxes two days in a row. You guys, I even flossed my teeth. Dare I say that this project might just succeed in turning me into a grownup? I might be getting ahead of myself there. But if it succeeds in getting my house clean enough to have company over next week, I’ll take it.

If you’re on Tumblr, by all means please follow me, and I’ll follow you right back. And then together we can Unfrack All The Things!

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

This week is getting away from me. It’s already more than halfway over and I’m just managing to get started. Of course, it’s my own dang fault. After we went to Gingrich’s speech on Monday, we were both tired and feeling a little down about the state of Life, the Universe and Everything, so we ordered pizza for dinner to cheer ourselves up. That led to a pizza, beer & ice cream binge, which led to a night of fitful sleep and insomnia, which led to a Tuesday that turned out to be a sick day as I caught up on sleep and recovered from an unplanned night of gluttony.

Which brings us to today, which was supposed to be a catching up day. But then shortly after I got up this morning Husband asked if we could please go to Target and pick up a handful of non-grocery items that we’ve been needing to get, including, but not limited to, a new floor lamp (necessary thanks to the incandescent bulb ban which means we can no longer buy the extra large three-way bulbs for our antique lamp; yes, they make extra large three-way CFL bulbs, but they all have a standard base, and our lamp has an extra-large socket. So now our beautiful antique lamp is a useless piece of landfill fodder, unless we can find a way to re-wire it. Way to save the planet there, incandescent bulb ban!) and a storage bin that will become a new and less cramped terrarium for Matilda the Turtle.

And of course, after we returned from Target I was rendered about as useless as our old lamp until I’d had a couple of hours to recover from the drain of Going Out Into The World. Which is always what happens whenever we go anywhere for any reason. Yay for introversion!

And tomorrow, Matt wants to spend the day going to Home Depot and stopping by some local businesses that have either crappy or non-existent web sites to say hi and drop off our business card. And then Friday is grocery shopping day. Really, I might as well just give up any plans I had to get anything done online this week that doesn’t involve Netflix or Hulu or staring at Pinterest going “Oooh, pretty!” I certainly haven’t managed to get any editing done.

Anyway, and speaking of getting things done online, before this sudden rush of eagerness to leave the house and interact with people on the part of my beloved, I managed to make some changes to this blog that you might have noticed if you’ve come here to read or comment instead of doing it on Livejournal or in a feed reader. I finally found the time to customize a theme to better coordinate with the rest of my web site, and I think it looks much more professional. I also added a “Shop” section, which is an Amazon store selling both my books and those of all of the indie authors that I’ve featured on this blog. Be sure to check out that section, because as I was adding the books I noticed that some of them are currently free to download. Hooray for free e-books!

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

It will be at least Tuesday before I have time to sit down and write up some real posts for this week, so in the interest of filling this space with some sort of fresh content, here’s my To Do list for the week:

• Go see Newt Gingrich. This is happening Monday (it’s probably happening as you read this — either that or I’m in the bathroom getting ready for it. Yay for post scheduling!). Is this a rally? None of the news articles called it a rally, so I don’t think so. At any rate, this will be my first time to go see a presidential candidate and hear what he has to say in person. Should be interesting.
• Craft a proposal for a potential new client. Oh, the exciting and glamorous life of a freelance web designer.
•  Gussy up my Facebook timeline, and create an official Author page. I finally have enough people who have friended me there because of my books to justify a page. And then maybe my real life friends and family will stop getting shut out of my news feed and I’ll actually know what’s going on.
• Write some blog posts, yes.
• Edit Dominion, which ought to go without saying, but if I say it I’m more likely to do it.
• Solicit some more guest posts and interviews so I can revive the Indie Author Spotlight feature (drop a comment if you’d like to be featured).
• Redo Matilda’s habitat.
• Make some deodorant.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while now. I think being transparent with sales numbers is a big help to other indie authors, and to the self-publishing industry as a whole. So without further ado, here is my sales record since I published my first book back in June.

Unless otherwise indicated, these are for e-book copies of Restless Spirits priced at $2.99. You’ll note a few copies of Fragments & Fancies in there — that one’s priced at 99 cents. Also, although it’s been available in trade paperback since July, I have yet to sell any hard copies of Restless Spirits.

June 2011

• Amazon – 8 (5 US, 3 UK)
• Smashwords – 0
• B&N – 4

July 2011

• Amazon – 3 (All US)
• Smashwords – 2*
• B&N – 0

August 2011

• Amazon – 2 (1 US, 1 UK)
• Smashwords – 1 (Fragments)
• B&N – 2 (Fragments)

September 2011

• Amazon – 3 (1 Restless Spirits US, 1 Fragments US, 1 RS UK)
• Smashwords -0
• B&N – 0

October 2011

• Amazon – 1 (US, Fragments)
• Smashwords – 23**
• B&N – 0

November 2011

• Amazon – 0
• Smashwords – 0
• B&N – 0

December 2011

• Amazon – 1 (US)
• Smashwords – 0
• B&N – 0

January 2012

• Amazon – 2 (US)
• Smashwords – 0
• B&N – 1 (Fragments)

* It was on sale for 50% off

** I publicized a coupon to get it for free during the month of October

Total Sales (not counting the October giveaway copies): 30

Average monthly sales: 3.75

Clearly, Amazon.com is my biggest market over all, although Barnes & Noble has done better for Fragments. I wonder if that means anything about Nook users having more of a penchant for short story collections. Smashwords hasn’t really been great for sales, but they are really great for generating buzz through sales and giveaways since they make coupon generation so easy.

November was my only month with a total goose egg — that probably has something to do with the fact that I was too busy doing NaNoWriMo to do any active promotion. December sales were also pretty dismal despite my participation in a holiday Kindle giveaway that was meant to draw a lot of attention to me and Restless Spirits for Christmas. Although it did net me a lot of new Twitter and Facebook followers, so that’s something. But if January is any indication, then things are starting to pick back up.

I know those numbers are lacking in the “Wow!” department, but honestly, a steady rate of 3-4 books a month is better than I expected, considering that I’m only offering one novel and what amounts to a chapbook.  It will be interesting to see if and by how much things pick up after I release Dominion. I’m planning to do quite a bit of pre-promotion in the run up to its release, which I didn’t do at all for either of my first two books. I’ve already got a little buzz going for it, thanks to including the first two chapters with the free copies of Restless Spirits that I gave away in October.

All in all, I’m pretty pleased with these numbers.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. For the occasion I wrote a guest post for my friend and fellow Nano-ite, Rebekah Loper. Here’s an excerpt:

I don’t write romance novels. But the stories I write usually contain plenty of romance. My writing feels empty and lifeless without that romantic element. I find that, as both a writer and a reader, and for that matter, as a member of the viewing audience, it’s usually not the MacGuffin driving the plot that I’m invested in, or the hero’s destination, but it’s the relationships between the characters; whether it’s the beauty of a deep friendship that tests the bonds of brotherhood and loyalty, a la Sam and Frodo, or the tension between sworn enemies like Batman and the Joker, or romantic tension that blossoms into full-fledged love between two characters who obviously belong together, I can never seem to get enough.

I guess you could say that I was a born ‘shipper. ‘Shipper, in case you don’t know, is short for “relationshipper,” someone who roots for certain characters in a story to get together and stay together. The first couple I remember ‘shipping with a passion was Han and Leia… or maybe it was Superman and Lois Lane.

You can read the rest at Rebekah’s blog. And if you haven’t read Restless Spirits yet, you can also enter to win a free Kindle copy. Go! Read! Enter! Yay!

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

One reason I wanted to move this blog to WordPress was so that I could have more segmentation, mainly so I could have a whole section devoted to crafts. But then I never got around to sharing any of the stuff I make. But after a badly needed weekend of rest spent mainly kicking back and crocheting while I caught up on all of my TV shows, it’s time to remedy that. So here’s what I made during my weekend of sloth.

Granny Slippers

I had made another pair of these back in October or November, a yellow/gray/pink pair that turned out too big, but still cute. But I wore those out before I got around to taking pictures, so here are my Granny Square Slippers, Take 2.

I was about to give Pinterest the credit for the pattern and inspiration, but I couldn’t find such a pin on my craft board, so I must have found them on Ravelry instead. Sure enough, here’s the pattern.

Ear-flap Hat

I didn’t use a pattern for the hat. I’ve made a few hats as gifts recently, so I had the basic hat pattern memorized, and I improvised the ear-flaps, cords and pom-poms, inspired by this pin. I had a left-over ball of this green and yellow wool yarn in my stash, but it wasn’t quite enough to make an adult-sized hat. I had made a hat and scarf set from this yarn years ago, but I wasn’t totally happy with how they turned out and they’ve been lingering in my closet ever since. So I frogged the other hat (which was rib knit) and used that yarn to add length to the hat, as well as the ear-flaps and cords. I think it turned out really cute. I’ve got plans to frog the scarf as well and re-knit it into a neck-warmer similar to this.

So that’s how I spent my weekend. How was yours?

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

…is not quite what this week turned out to be, although I did make good headway by finishing the first act and getting started on the second. It turned out that I had to devote a big chunk of my week to clearing a big pile of storm debris out of my side yard. I had planned to take care of it once the weather warmed up, but the city said “Nope! Do it now or pay a fine.”

So… maybe next week. No, what am i saying? I don’t mean maybe. I mean Yes! Definitely! Next week I will edit every day! And I will get this book done! Soon! -ish.

-ish because I’ll still have one more pass to do after this one, and that after the beta readers have gotten ahold of it. Which reminds me… I’m going to need some beta readers, so feel free to drop a comment and let me know if you’re interested. But on this, the first pass, I’m mainly focusing on story problems, patching up continuity holes and making sure everything makes sense and is paced well. On the next pass I’ll focus more on the words and spiffying up the writing, and I’ll format it for publication as I go.

As for story problems, I haven’t noticed anything significant yet, but I know it’s not completely issue-free, so it’s just a matter of time. I do, however, think that I’ll only have to do minimal re-writing of the problematic scenes, so that’s encouraging.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that for now, because really, I’m just blathering, because my body is achey and tired from clearing away all those limbs, and my brain is almost as tired from cramming in as much work as possible in between yard work sessions. I, dear readers, am ready to crash. TGIF, indeed.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

It’s time, y’all. As mentioned in my last post, the web site project that was eating my time and patience is done, and the big web site support client I signed last November let their contract expire. That means I’ve got some breathing room, and hence, no more excuses.

And so I hereby proclaim for all to see that, starting Monday (because I’ve already got a jam-packed weekend so it really won’t do to start then… okay, maybe I haven’t really run out of excuses yet. SHUT UP!), I’m going back to the daily routine that I kept for most of last year: devoting the first two hours of my day (after my morning devotional and breakfast, that is) to writing, editing and publishing tasks. NO EXCEPTIONS. And no Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or e-mail or even turning on my phone until my writing time is done.

This routine worked quite well for getting DOMINION written, so it ought to do for getting it edited and published, too. And when I was doing this I still managed to get other work done.

Actually, if I’m being totally honest with myself, for the last couple of weeks I’ve been spending those two hours messing about online instead of doing anything truly productive, anyway. So it’s time to nip that in the bud and start opening Scrivener instead of Facebook when I sit down with my morning coffee.

I expect you to hold me to this, people. If you see me on a social network before at least 1:30 PM Central (and yes, if you do the math you’ll realize that means I generally sleep in until about 9:30 or 10:00. Don’t judge me. That’s one of the perks of being a freelancer), please don’t hesitate to scold me and shame me into logging off and getting to work. Doing whatever the virtual equivalent is of your impression of Donald Sutherland at the end of Body Snatchers ought to do the trick.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

That is what my last post was full of, apparently. I haven’t managed yet to find time for editing Dominion, let alone for blogging here about all the things I said I would be blogging about soon.

My “day job” has been keeping me too busy–which is great, except for the fact that it’s bringing to light the fact that I’m WAY undercharging for my services, which means I’m working my butt off non-stop but not actually making a living from it. That part’s not so great. Which is why I’m using my limited spare time to overhaul my business in the hopes that it will actually turn a profit and keep a roof over our heads. I’m streamlining my services, raising prices to more closely match what my peers are charging, and Matt’s agreed to come on as a partner and take care of sales and marketing. All of which means that I also need to overhaul my business web site, as well as re-brand it. Which is all to say: Busy Jean is busy.

Even so, this weekend I’m determined to crack open Dominion and start editing, and to start carving out at least 30 minutes a day to devote to it starting next week. I also have a lot of pre-marketing plans for it, but again, it comes down to finding the time. As does keeping up this blog, which I do realize is not optional if I want to build and keep an audience. Grr. Arrg.

Here, look at my new logo:

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

Okay, so we finished the series, and I now feel obligated to say that yes, it did get better in the second season. A lot of that was due to the addition of Esai Morales to the cast, and you can’t help but make things better by tossing an Adama–any Adama–into the mix. The writing was still problematic, but that became less noticeable with a shift to more political action and intrigue, less “aw shucks, we’re just a small town fighting our way through a big disaster with a lot of persistence and pluck.” The production values also improved. I can’t think of one instance in season two where Matt paused the show to point out some visual gaffe (other than the fact that this small Kansas town appeared to be a mountain town, but I can get over that; mountains are pretty hard to hide).

With only seven episodes in the second season, it felt more like a mini-series follow-up than an actual season of the show, and it wrapped up enough of the major loose ends to provide a decent amount of closure. Even so, after going several days without, I’m actually starting to feel withdrawal pangs over this weirdly addictive apocalyptic family drama, and since finishing the series I can now understand where the fans who still pine for this show to make a comeback are coming from.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I missed this back when it originally aired on CBS, but since Matt and I have been on a survival show kick lately and we needed something to tide us over while waiting for the second season of Dual Survival to show up on Netflix, we decided to give Jericho a chance. I think I initially avoided it because of its main premise, which is that most of the US is destroyed in a nuclear holocaust. I mean, I still have nightmares from watching The Day After as a kid, and giving too much thought to nuclear war tends to leave me holding myself while I rock back and forth. But I know this show had a rabid fan following, and I have a certain fondness for Skeet Ulrich, and like I said, we’re on a survival kick, and we thought, just maybe this show will have something to teach us.

Well, not so much. You guys, I really wanted this show to be great. I mean, the people who love this show really LOVE this show, and I wanted to love it too. But it’s… I don’t know. It’s like it’s not just the Hollywood version of a plucky small town full of plucky survivors living outside of the fallout zone of a post-nuclear wasteland, but it’s the CBS version of that, you know? And it’s this weird dichotomy of good actors giving straight-faced, heartfelt performances against cheap production values and lazy writing that’s full of plot holes and painfully obvious that the writers and producers couldn’t even be arsed to do a lazy Google/Wikipedia version of research about anything. And while I’m the sort who is normally able to suspend my disbelief fairly easily and overlook things like obvious stunt doubles (for “stunts” like walking out a door?) and palm trees and mountains showing up in Kansas (it’s like they’re not even trying to hide them), Matt is not that sort of person and it pulls him out of the story every time–and then he has to pause it and point out the gaffes to me.

All of that said, I think I do kind of love this show. We’re almost finished with the first season, and I will say that the story–if not necessarily the writing–is getting better. The Touched By An Angel quality has diminished as the town begins to face actual hardship, and the fact that this town in the beginning seems extremely lucky and barely touched by The End Of The World As We Know It actually becomes a plot point. It’s a very character-driven show, and a little soapy, which makes it a little easier to overlook a lot of the implausibilities. It’s frustrating, because this show really could have been excellent if the production staff seemed to care half as much about it as the actors, but there are parts of it that are good, and parts of it that are so bad, and it’s a little bit unintentionally campy, but it’s all entertaining. And as much as we both complain to each other about this show’s problems, we’re still compelled to keep watching it. As much as I have to say that I can see why it was cancelled, I have a feeling I’m going to bemoan its cancellation regardless once I get to the end.

There’s still a hue and cry among this show’s fans for it to be brought back into production. What I would rather see is a remake — even as anti-remake as I usually tend to be — helmed by someone like J. J. Abrams or Joss Whedon or Ronald D. Moore or somebody who cares about making shows good. Regardless of your opinion of the original, tell me that that would not be pure awesome.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.

I’m starting out the second week of NaNoWriMo about 3,000 words short of where I should be. I was doing great for the first three days, even had a bit of a word cushion built up, but then I decided to take Friday off from writing, since it was already filled to the brim with errands and my weekly Bible study. Of course I just knew I’d make it up over the weekend, but on Saturday I was too determined to catch up on TV as well as writing, and thanks to that I only managed about 900 words that day. Sunday was much better–I went to the first write-in for my area and wrote over 2,200 words while I was there, but that wasn’t enough to catch me up to where I should be. Then on Monday, a combination of adjusting to the time change and some *ahem* female troubles knocked me so far off my game that I just sat there in a haze all day, wondering what I should do and trying to decide if it would be better to just go take a nap, until I finally gave up on either notion and went to watch Netflix with Matt. So I did some math, and if I want to be caught up to 20,000 by this weekend I need to write about 3,000 words a day between now and then. I’ve done 1,142 so far today.

And do you know what isn’t helping? That would be the earthquakes. That’s right, we have earthquakes now, apparently. In Oklahoma. We’ve had three pretty significant quakes in as many days, in a state that until last year there hadn’t been a single quake strong enough to be felt in my lifetime, and until three years ago averaged about three too-minor-to-be-felt quakes a YEAR. And we’ve had about ten times that many just in the last WEEKEND, one of which broke the record for the biggest area quake in known history. So it’s a little hard to concentrate on writing when you’re busy wondering if there’s going to be a BIG ONE and if you should be getting ready for it, or if this is the beginning of those birth pangs Jesus talked about and maybe we should be getting ready to be raptured out of here, or if Oklahoma, land of tornadoes, intense heat and drought, wildfires, grapefruit-sized hail, destructive ice storms, blizzards and now EARTHQUAKES, is done coming up with new and inventive ways to kill us all.

You guys, if the apocalypse happens before I finish this book, I’m gonna be SO MIFFED.

Anyway, I was more concerned about just finishing my novel than I was about my word count, but then I found out that CreateSpace is going to be giving free proofs AND five free paperback copies to the winners. That would mean I could actually afford to do a giveaway promotion for Dominion once it’s published. I want those free paperbacks, y’all. I gotta come up with 50,000 words of SOMETHING by the end of the month.

All righty then, I guess I’d better quit blogging and get to hustling on that word count. Here’s hoping the earth refrains from opening up and swallowing us for a while longer.

Originally published at Marzipan Pie Plate Bingo. You can comment here or there.